I blink and I’m six months post-grad, steadily working through my first job and adjusting to adult life. Recently Millennial Trains Project fell into my lap. I looked at it, thought “wow, that’s incredible” and moved on. I kept pushing it away until finally, I caved.
I woke up the morning after I submitted my proposal and thought, “What have I done?” I nearly took it down.
So many thoughts ran through my head and still haunt me.
I am frightened. I’m not smart enough. I don’t have the experience. I don’t fit the mold for the type of person that would get on a train for 10 days with 20 strangers and hop into random cities. I’m just from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. No one will take me seriously.
But there are so many reasons to put these insecurities behind me. I refuse to sit comfortable in my life. I refuse to feel stuck or even to be just “fine.”
Believe me, it would be way easier to not pursue this. Asking people for money isn’t easy. Putting yourself out there and asking people to support your wild plan isn’t easy. I have a nice job. I work with organizations I passionately believe in. Moving forward I would get along just fine. But I’ve never been fine with just “fine.”
I woke up the morning after I submitted my proposal and thought, “What have I done?” I nearly took it down.
So many thoughts ran through my head and still haunt me.
I am frightened. I’m not smart enough. I don’t have the experience. I don’t fit the mold for the type of person that would get on a train for 10 days with 20 strangers and hop into random cities. I’m just from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. No one will take me seriously.
But there are so many reasons to put these insecurities behind me. I refuse to sit comfortable in my life. I refuse to feel stuck or even to be just “fine.”
Believe me, it would be way easier to not pursue this. Asking people for money isn’t easy. Putting yourself out there and asking people to support your wild plan isn’t easy. I have a nice job. I work with organizations I passionately believe in. Moving forward I would get along just fine. But I’ve never been fine with just “fine.”
If I have life in me to give, I’m giving it my all. It’s too precious to just let it go by. Of course my passion is to learn how to help others and that is why I’m going. But, it’s also for me and I can’t be afraid to say that. I need to learn and I need to branch out. If I want to give my best to a career and to the organizations I care about, I need to keep learning and pushing outside my comfort zone. I’m not running away from home. I’m pushing myself out of home to bring back something better.
I asked God once before to guide me into a deeper relationship with him, to put me on my path and lead my way. I was shaken and in awe of his power. He brought me to my knees. I now know my path is only to follow his, and if along the way he leads me to do things on this Earth than I will listen.
I prayerfully considered this journey and sometimes I still question if I heard him right… Are you sure Lord? Did I misinterpret? Did you mean for me to take a little smaller step first? What is this meant for in my relationship with you?
I asked God once before to guide me into a deeper relationship with him, to put me on my path and lead my way. I was shaken and in awe of his power. He brought me to my knees. I now know my path is only to follow his, and if along the way he leads me to do things on this Earth than I will listen.
I prayerfully considered this journey and sometimes I still question if I heard him right… Are you sure Lord? Did I misinterpret? Did you mean for me to take a little smaller step first? What is this meant for in my relationship with you?
I do not have any of these answers, but succeed or fail, I know it’s something I need to try. Last year around this time I wrote about my waves of fear. I vowed to let His peace overcome me and to trust. I thought graduating and getting a job would be it. Now I realize, I might have needed all that time just to come to this moment – to really step out into the waves.
So, here I am, vulnerable, legs wobbling in the sand. But my toes are digging in and I’m standing my ground. I am joyfully anticipating the waves.
I ask that you consider supporting my journey. Whether you can contribute financially, share my efforts with others or pray that I take the right steps along the way.
Thank you.
To visit my project proposal, click here: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/generation-leadership
So, here I am, vulnerable, legs wobbling in the sand. But my toes are digging in and I’m standing my ground. I am joyfully anticipating the waves.
I ask that you consider supporting my journey. Whether you can contribute financially, share my efforts with others or pray that I take the right steps along the way.
Thank you.
To visit my project proposal, click here: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/generation-leadership